Monday, February 13, 2012

Not all people are good friends

All friends maybe good people, but sadly, not all people are good friends. It happens to everyone every now and again, that person you thought was a good friend turns out to be a bad person in sheep's clothing. 

The Gossip

We all have them, and they are especially prevalent for females. The Gossip. The one that overtime you go out for coffee has something new and juicy about so-and-so. Always knows who's hooking up with who and starts every other sentence "Don't repeat this but.." These are the types of people that make themselves seem trustworthy. They know everything about everyone and even though they repeat it all to you, they somehow convince you they wont tell a soul your secrets

If someone constantly is talking about others, don't be surprised when you finally hear all the negative things they've said about you. Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.

I Have a Dream

Surround yourself with people that have goals in life. Hang out with people who want to go out for coffee and talk political candidates instead of people that want to go out drinking and hooking up with strangers. Meet people at book clubs, not bars. Sure, go to bars, embrace your own sexuality and get a little tipsy sometimes. But everything in moderation my friends. Avoid people who aren't in school, have a B.S. job that they don't put their all into and don't have hobbies that they are truly passionate about. They maybe fun to go out with but in the long run, they will probably just bring you down and try to belittle your goals. 

Speaking of belittling goals…

One extra difficult life lesson to learn is that real friends bring you up, never down. If someone feels the need to make fun of your hopes, belittles your accomplishments or points out your every flaw, then the sad fact is that they aren't really a friend to you or themselves. For some people, the best way to make themselves feel better about screw ups is to bring everyone around them down to their level. Remind yourself that a good friend is no different than a relationship, it should make you a better you. Anyone who badmouths and degrades you simply out of jealousy, isn't your friend. There are enough negative or doubtful voices in our own heads, you don’t need friends that add any noise!

Drama doesn't follow people, people follow drama

I'm sure at one point or another you have met someone that seems convinced that drama is somehow stalking them. Their roommates are always awful, the guy they are seeing is always a jerk, their friends are always stabbing them in the back and their professors are out to get them. Funny thing about that is, 9 times out of 10, all of those problems can be explained away by compulsively bad decision making and an unconscious gravitation towards drama. Sometimes, people have issues. And sometimes they all come at once. But your roommates have ALL been awful? Maybe it's you that's the awful one. The guy you are seeing is ALWAYS a jerk? Maybe you should know better than to latch onto a guy that's been with 10 girls in the past month. Maybe your friends are just stabbing you in the back to return the favor? Perhaps you need to start studying more. Drama doesn't follow people, people follow drama. Whether they realize this or not, is entirely up to them.

So since life lessons, are ment to be taught, what tips and tricks of out with the old do you have to share?


Jennie said...

I feel like for the most part, this is all very true. However, I swear that drama really does follow me around. I really am NOT a dramatic person. In high school I just slid by with stuff, and then I hit college and BAM drama hits me over and over again like a ton of bricks. I'm pretty relaxed and I usually hang out with guys rather than girls, but I swear, SO MUCH DRAMA from both sexes! I've been best friends with all my roommates except two and the guys I hang out with are either really chill or really caught up in everything. I belive that people follow drama in most cases, but in mine I think that I just have that coincidence. Ha! Sorry for the novel. :)

Heather Belle said...

I really love this post! I got so upset and worked up when I found at Friday that a girl I thought was a friend was really talking smack behind my back. It's so sad how fake people can be.
Don't trust people who you know can't keep their lips zipped though, right? Sigh...
xo Heather

waterlilygallery said...

My tip - don't wait 30 years to figure out which ones are which.

Halley said...

That last one is so true!

Also, I think gossip can be two kinds - good gossip and bad. The good is about how wonderful things are happening and how people are so great, the bad about how crappy life is and how annoying other people are.

I think good gossip is ok, cuz then! People are spreading the news about your new business, trip, puppy!

What do you think?

Samantha said...

This is so true especially about the drama. One of the biggest lessons in this life that I've learned is that if someone is constantly talking about how drama follows them and is convinced that they have no part in it than it is time to run away from that person as fast as possible.